Hey Russell, is Smart Brother on vacation, or what?

Can you think of a reason why the states of Nevada and New Jersey would never allow that to happen?

She was 90 years old on the day she was born.

Draft Kings to FanDuel: “We’re both a part of the same hypocrisy.”

I dunno. All obese computer-nerd chicks look the same to me.

Alt is also an active member in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, where authorities believe she performed volunteer work with young kids.

They couldn’t have done it without that obese computer-nerd chick with the orange hair.

Roger Staubach needs to have a stern talk with this young man, pronto. At the rate he’s going, Mister Hardy will NEVER make the Ring of Honor!

I guess it would have been a Bridge Too Far to have a female investigator question this young girl?

I’d never heard of Ms. Nolan before I saw this clip just now. Her comment is an example of brilliant writing and delivery. She should get to move directly to the top of sports reporters’ leader board.

“And those who are beautiful, Oh who can retain them?” Rainer Maria Rilke

So assaulting a minor child is a misdemeanor now? Good to know.

Just looking at the headline, I thought this story was written by a guy who was trying to see how many beers he’d have to drink before he felt like banging Kim Davis. Oh well.

When my son was a young boy, he was such a terror that I used to tell people, “His name is Legion.” My family and friends who were churchgoers always got a big kick out of that.

Henry Volkswagen III

But this is in New Jersey, so he still can’t make them shave their armpits.

I think you’re on to something. Before Davis even got out of jail, her lawyer was saying publicly that the marriage licenses for same-sex couples coming out of her office “aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.” I’m almost certain that this is how he convinced her that she could capitulate to the judge and still…

She seems more “pill drunk” (also known as “Elvis drunk”) than booze drunk.

“What I would do, immediately, is begin rebuilding the Sixth Fleet, I would begin rebuilding the missile defense program in Poland . . .” — Carly F.