You are so, so mad, bro.

You might find you’re a little less angry if you don’t have to listen to your phone making noise all the time.

Well, firing Comey wasn’t quite enough to take the heat off of him, but this is sure to wrap it up once and for all.

Maybe we talk to the Obama girls about how they felt about pics of their father being hung

So are we certain she’s not actually Jenna from 30 Rock? Because that really sounds like something Jenna would say.

They sound like a bunch of Pillsbury Jack-Offs.

Yeah, I came here to remark on that. I’ve never actually watched it, but I imagine the hosts refer to it as “Bake Off” from time to time like everyonee else in the world does so this seems like a really weird choice.

My personal line in the sand is Taco Bell. Never had it, never will.

It doesn’t?

Are there any heterosexual birds?

Well, I mean until they had to stop selling their trademark plaid because it turned into the chav uniform.

Not sure how much difference it makes once you have bone mets.

WTF? I would wonder more if that’s some weird thing your boss dreamed up. I have definitely witnessed work authority figures inappropriately interpreting things I’ve said about colleagues and telling them weird nonsense, which has made me a lot more careful about what I say about colleagues, or if I say anything at…

“Banana Ice Cream with Caramel & Graham Cracker Swirls & Fudge Peace Signs”

Maybe you should do something, then.

Okay. I’m not sad about antagonizing a stupid party shill. I hope to make people like you suffer a little. Won’t be comparable to what you did to others but it’s a start.

For all the melodrama the simple truth is this: There is no “Trumpcare.” Things are simply going back to whatever they were like where you live pre-Obamacare.

Yeah, okay, all those states who refused the federal Medicaid expansion are definitely gonna change their tune and decide to put their own money in, despite the fact that they didn’t do so before now.

Objectivism is not a legitimate philosophical school; it’s a piece of ridiculous pseudointellectualism that you are supposed to grow out of well before you graduate high school.

Are there specific numbers available for people who are absolutely unlovable? Asking for a friend.