Let’s all be thankful to God that those three-year-olds weren’t aborted.

I mean, after you asked someone else to come make excuses for your behavior.

If that were the case she wouldn’t have brought up my sexuality as a reason I shouldn’t talk to her.

Um, okay, thanks for proving my point.

We inject them with growth hormones (which, also, fun fact: are largely believed to be contributing to the uptick in early puberty in many kids), antibiotics to keep them healthy, sedatives to keep them calm and compliant, etc.

Why do you hate gay people so much?

Uh was I unclear? I didn’t think I was but apparently I was. So, to be clearer, yes, you were wrong, and you should feel really embarrassed about how badly wrong you were with basic shit. If you don’t feel embarrassed, that’s not surprising, because you’re obviously really, really dumb and of course you haven’t been…

I’m not trying to punish anyone for anything, I’m just trying to point out how the law works in this country.

You’re kind of an asshole, and I don’t get why straight people think they are so entitled to our time.

I don’t think I cared for either but as I recall at that time in pop music there was fratty rock that I was just getting aware enough to reject as a gay, annoying boy-bandy stuff that I still knee-jerk rejected as a boy, and then Destiny’s Child which was awesome and still is awesome.

I’m just responding to your comments on the internet about how I’m gay.

No, you’re engaging in hair-splitting that isn’t even really valid because we do punish people for how things might have ended differently, and that’s why the crime of “attempted murder” exists in the first place. “Attempted murder” (i.e. no one died) and what happened here (no one died) are very similar crimes. The…

That’s true. Thanks for making that point.

Good. It’s harder and harder to find stuff I can just hate on, it’s a relief when I do.

Hating on popular bands was more defensible in Nickelback’s day (they’re not still big, right?) because the radio was all there was, we couldn’t all just burrow into a nice cocoon of internet solipsism all the time.

Wait is the same person the drummer for both of those bands? That’s amazing.

I don’t really care either way Coldplay and I think there’s a strong argument that he’s insufferable but he sure is pretty.

Man, how bad was his own identity that the identity of the drummer from Nickelback was a step up?

And a very large portion of that portion probably call themselves “Christians”.

Driving onto a lawn in which a birthday party is happening could easily result in death. Performing an act of terrorism in a way that could easily cause deaths is certainly not “nothing like” attempted murder.