Wait you’re a grey?

okay guys this time i’m serious, don’t put your dicks in any children

I bet it killed them to miss the fun of the Kardashian New Year’s Eve party.

I’ve spent 38 weeks eating lunch meat, tuna, and (pasteurized) cheese.

This is a good-ass goal. Good luck!

“Hey! You look great! You’re almost back in shape!”

Marshall apparently believes that porn could be as dangerous as cigarettes, but the effects can only be understood if studied at length.

Fail.

I found that it seems a bit harder to avoid that genre of tedious straight dude who thinks he’s some kind of genius because of his B+ average in high school. Like, plenty of the individual subreddits are fine but it seemed like I always ended up getting cornered by one of those even in the civilized parts of it. Of…

IDK I’ve heard some people get married b/c they love each other or something, so maybe it’s that.

That’s cute!

Fail.

Fail.

I’d let him body-check me.

Fail.

Fail.

Fail.

Yeah, but at least as far as I’ve heard, Kim is less of a titanic asshole on a personal level than Kanye. I could be wrong about that, but Kanye’s the one whose assholishness to Beyonce has made the news repeatedly.

Imagine how exhausting and unpleasant it must be to have to publicly pretend to be friends with Kanye West and thus have to be on the receiving end of his torrent of bullshit.

That guy has some pretty dramatic nipples.