sorry if you cant identify that this is satire, i dont know what to tell you.

Jalopnik cross post with fancy Kristen.

Ya know, I haven’t bothered to count. More than 20 but less than 40? More than animation docs but less than historical docs?

Kelly this is a masterpiece. thank you.

All I can think now is “My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men.”

Just want to say you really want to avoid the slow clap. It’s known to be antibiotic resistant.

No, it’s a Voight-Kampff test.

*slow clap*

This is where I completely lost it: “I’ve been going to the same perineum guy for four years”

I don’t think a single person would be negatively effected if fraternities and sororities were all permanently disbanded forever. 

Ah I loved Bebe. My 20 something self found many a sexy outfit for hot dates. I’m glad I had that sexy gal moment, you know— before kids. Back when my boobs were still perky and I didn’t need to wear a bra. Those were the good ole days...

Thanks! I prefer to read at lunch anyway!

A lot less than what it costs for Trump to spend a weekend at Mar-a-Lago.

You forgot old stamps a couple cents short of the current postal rate (“you can use two and it’ll get there for sure!”).

They’re probably having a better time than most people on the planet.

Do yours also give away Christmas gifts like Single Pairs of Practical Socks, A Frisbee (for the grandson), plastic novelty planters, A Christian Book (for me, because I’m a godless Catholic) and long underwear bottoms?

If Trump’s campaign actually did conspire with the Russians to throw the election for Trump, then the House would have to impeach him. This won’t happen in a Republican run House though, so the Dems need to GOTV in 2018 and have the Dems take back the House. I don’t think anything will happen until then. Nunes is…

Also- Every Breath You Take.

I’m convinced that a large percentage of the population has poor listening comprehension.

omg it’s Rejuvenique all over again.