You’re assuming that their feeble little minds can comprehend the fact that Planned Parenthood services are largely not about abortion. In their minds, they believe that they have the moral high ground because they believe that they are defending innocent babies from being murdered by the amoral. I’m not defending…

These people are fucking sic[k].

This is indeed a terrible take, but on the bright side literally everyone trying to beat Trump actually does give a fuck about climate change to some degree, so...

During yet another rambling, incoherent press conference involving plenty of anti-Semitism today, Donald Trump took a question about the epidemic of veterans’ suicides across the country.

A chance for me to wear Mrs. Funk’s skimpiest outside the bedroom?!

Ah, thanks.  I’d forgotten the Golan Heights travesty.

Well, that answer is always correct.

Trump: “Wait a minute. No president has done what I’ve done.”

YOU’RE a nictitating membrane!

The answer is 1.

No sorry necessary.  If I had enough of an attention span to get past your first sentence, I wouldn’t have made such an idiotic reply.

That’s...not true, though.

I know it’s a deeply unpopular and simplistic sentiment in these parts, but if Joe’s the nominee, he’s getting my vote, warts and all.

“The greatest gift God gave mankind was the ability to forget.” He didn’t trip up on that one at all.

Give him a break. He just got out of a long and productive meeting with a Nigerian prince.

It’s easier to just never stop.

you can’t buy people anymore.

If I’m going to do that much work, I’m going up to bed.  The point of “crashing on the couch” is because my lazy and/or drunk ass isn’t getting up.

If I’m going to do that much work, I’m going up to bed.  The point of “crashing on the couch” is because my lazy…

More recently, Lin is accused of threatening that “the time will come when Miami will burn to the ground