Oh, I know. Keep fighting the good fight!!!

What’s an Emmet?

As a new Granite Stater, let me say that for anyone who volunteers to keep my new home state blue, I’ll be the first in line to buy you a beer.

The fuck are you talking about?

It’s a little bit weird to see the love for transphobic asshat Cardi B in an article directly after the Laverne Cox post.

That is absolutely the face of a man who has tried to put his massage therapist’s hand on his balls.

Do you have a source?  If this is true, it’s pretty negligent to leave that information out of the story. Not that it makes all of the park’s negligence any better, but still. 

Here, have this:

“[T]he shooters in— in both in El Paso and in Dayton, passed background checks.”

Same!

With Mother, of course.

From the linked article:

Motherfucker tried to claim that he was wearing the latex gloves because he was eating a prickly pear. Because nothing protects your hands against sharp objects like latex gloves.

He’s already on probation for assault with a weapon, he fractures a child’s skull, and after his arrest he was...

We shouldn’t need photos of police with hands growing out of their heads either. It’s terrifying enough to know what they do with the other two.

I laughed more at Kid Gorgeous than any other stand up special since probably Carlin. 

“We could push the company to break even if we wanted to frankly, but I think what you will see from us is…lower losses going forward while at the same time we aggressively invest in new growth levers,” said Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi in a conference call with reporters.

You’re honestly better off not knowing.  Google it if you must.

Or a horse.