what did he have to be arrested for again? Not having the correct zip code on his drivers license?

I have known two women that go by "Sue" or "Suzy" when it is not in fact their name. One of which is my mother. Granted "Sue" is her middle name but the other was my grandmother and Sue was no where in the register.

solely anecdotal, but my mom is perimenopausal at 57, with only 1 or 2 periods/year.

but do you order soy cappuccinos?

with the right soy milk, yes, or with some sort of added stretching agent. Silk is the brand of choice at my restaurant and it doesn't stretch for shit. Yea I can technically make one but its going to have gaping ugly air holes so I typically just make an as foamy as possible latte.

that's what I do with soy cappuccinos as well.

Aww poor pup

snap

yes there was someone on gawker maybe who made some comments about her without actually @ing her on a Saturday night and she went on some bizarre rant about how he's just jealous of her "holes" 😐

a legitimate whiskey option outside of soco and Jack was a serious travesty as well.

unshaven maven sorry not sorry

oh god I've gotten to the very sincere murder threats with one roommate. Granted it was in the middle of a physical altercation but she had at least 100 lbs on me and I told her if she ever touched me again I would gut her like a fish.

oh god my fathers favorite (read: least favorite) memory of me is when I refused to stop playing in the dirt in my pretty dress at my sisters softball game so he carried me to the car with me screaming "HELP ME!!" To all of the stranger passerbys. Whoooops

nor does it include emu oil, which is fantastic

nor does it include emu oil, which is fantastic

quadrupsies

Twinsies x 2

Twinsies

never has a glitter bomb been more deserved

picking the crusted anything off my body and inspecting it carefully only to throw it gleefully onto the floor to be swept up at a later date.