I go into a panic tailspin when I can't find my $40 gaspeite.

I got a, "You're name is "X", right?" From a stranger last week.

Says someone whose never been to a gynecologist.

Tried to read it last summer. Could not give a shit. Sorry, not sorry.

I'm in KS, where yearly the penalties for DUI offenses get more stringent. I think it's a good thing, personally, as I'm learning a tough lesson by having the book thrown at me. Although a friend recently told me the engine interlock requirement is due to a push by the interlock makers lobby because people would just…

Very few have "gotten away" I'd imagine. The only one in recent memory that comes to mind is that little shit stain "affluenza" kid.

I don't know:

why? In what parallel universe is the correct spelling of that little troglodytes last name in any way important?

24-year-old me ain't mad at 15-year-old me for goin' after what she wanted, but she is a little ashamed of 22-year-old me for sleeping with him again over Christmas Break.

Oh my god I lost my viriginity to Great Plains Bro. If it weren't a complete dick move I would put a picture for posterity. It is a perfect match.

Swearing is caring.

Scotch tastes like the bottom of a rusty old boot.

Oh lord truer words were never spoken.

Precisely.

LONG LIVE VODKA TAMPON

Rosemary, is that you?

Yep. Real flat, dry, and drab as far as the eye can see.

Whatup fellow Lawrencian haaaaaay

It was football. I wouldn't get too proud.

A girl I had no relationship with outside of sitting next to each other in SOC160 had a dream about me eating the cheese pizza lunchables...
Not that that's what I DID, or anything.