Not cool dude.

I have had exactly ten times more sexual partners than I have had attempts at dieting. Fuck that noise, and fuck someone else instead.

Shitty commenters aside, this piece is great and the only one I've had any desire to read since Dunhamgate. This is the Jez I want to see. Infighting is, sadly, fascinating, but not why I come here.

Once at a Burlesque show I requested I stand in front of a man and he said NO. Um, excuse me!? We were on bleachers, I would already be a head shorter than you without being on a lower riser, and we were reasonably far from the stage. You can't move one more foot away from the boobs gyrating on the floor of the stage…

So you're telling me I could potentially see some of my social security money in my lifetime!?

A coworker has a kitten named Tunabelle. Apparently the name runs in his wife's family. Her human family. It's perfect for a cat tho.

Agreed. And after the whole q-tip horror scene of last season I'm ready to see Hannah on the up and up mentally, which she seems to be. I think Hannah's "overeating" only stood out as a sharp contrast to Shoshana's complete lack of it.

Did anyone else get the impression that Shoshana might be struggling with disordered eating? She made a point to not eat every scene in which she was around food.

WHY DO THEIR HEADS ALL LOOK SO TINY!?

Seriously. Whole grain is part of a balanced diet. It's stupid to cut it out if you don't have to.

Seriously. Whole grain is part of a balanced diet. It's stupid to cut it out if you don't have to.

The Poehler Vortex is even chillier than I'd imagined.

Oh we have people ask almost daily. People get huffy about it maybe once every other week.

I'm a FOH manager, so not a major big shot, but I do have a horse in the race.

I love you too internet stranger!

Maybe it's gluten-free's death rattle? It just plasters itself all over seemingly obvious products until everyone gets so fed up with it they just start eating gluten again? Maybe?

That's the annoying part of the bandwagon aspect tho, wheat is so ubiquitous that people who aren't seriously making an effort to avoid it but call themselves "gluten-free" are so obviously clueless about what they put in their bodies. Honestly, even if I had the desire to give up wheat (you will pry my sourdough and…

Ugh god. Sorority's mom weekend dinner that we catered at the hotel I used to work at was so much this. "Oh my mom can't eat dairy" because she didn't want the ravioli but somehow cheesecake was a-okay? Right....

That's the most frustrating part of the trend for me. It's so obvious that the yuppies asking for "gluten-free" (insert product here) have no idea what they're talking about because people with legitimate issues never would have set foot in the store. That's usually when my snark sets in and I inform them there is…

I'm all for folks with allergies being accommodated, but I would really appreciate if people stopped coming into my restaurant, the name of which has "Wheat" in the title, and acting all indignant when we can't provide for them.