I used to work with Rat Bastard. It’s a small world, no?

White people who compare mild to moderate situations/annoyances to MLK’s struggle are the fucking worst.

“I made a joke about dating, and then AMY made a joke about dating!! THEN I made a joke about boobs, and of course Amy went and made a boob-joke too! Then I did this whole bit where it would be surprising that I was being crass because I am a girl, you know? Guess what! AMY went and did that too! And Amy NEVER steals…

Chering is caring.

I’m down as long as Chad and Denise come back.

Opening doors to let them in. Opening doors to let them out. Filling a dish that has plenty of food. Petting with one hand when I clearly have two. Pooping outside the litter box. They will not be ignored. Unless of course they want to be ignored.

As a teenager I loved it but by the time I hit my twenties I realized what a shitty friend Carrie was; always ditching her friends to meet up with Big or some other annoying guy. And she was so embarrassingly bad with money for someone in their 30's that it was actually offensive.

awesome! Especially considering I never did this in the first place. I always thought it was absurd to wash my garbage.

I’m not shivering with anticipation over this remake, Stassa. I’m not.

I have a lot of time for Eva Longoria, she is a bright and interesting woman. The thing that always sticks with me is what she said about tax breaks: “the Eva Longoria who worked at Wendy’s flipping burgers — she needed a tax break. But the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets does not.”

I think this may be a new way to test for generational divides. If you find this video makes you nostalgic, you’re GenX. If you find it boring and kinda off-putting, you’re a millenial.

I love that because her husband was a mass murdering “patriot” she thinks her opinion should some weight.

I have NEVER gotten why so many people like her. SHE IS A DISCOUNT P!NK.

Britney Spears’ sweaty Cheeto fingers Donald Trump.

I read that as “Penises ‘are kind of scared.’” Which still kind of works.

There have actually been a bunch of legal decisions in favor of trans people based on sex non-discrimination.

You, sir...or madam...are a Thanksgiving genius. Stuffing and mashed potatoes are usually my least favorite parts of the Thanksgiving meal, but those carb-laden Frankenmuffins might make me change my mind.

It can both be true that Caitlyn Jenner is not deserving of the Woman of the Year, and that this guy is an asshole for calling her a man.

Nobody opted for abortion?

You know, I’d be into at least trying it (for casual meetup, make new drinking buddies, and yeah OKAY YES we’ll probably end up making out). Except that signup is Facebook only and fuuuuuuuck youuuuuuu.