Christopher Robin grows up to be a Nazi furry. He doesn't leave Pooh and the gang behind because he grew up, he just thinks they're 'a bunch of cucks.'

It's Italian for 'side-hug.'

As Battlestar Galactica and no less than three Roland Emmerich movies have taught us, imagining presidential lines of succession in an apocalypse is always fun.

I say let Beyonce hunt him for sport.

I was all set to make a 'Hey America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind' joke, but then I realized that Roberts could have literally given that as the Oath to Trump and a) Trump wouldn't have known the difference, and b) Republicans would be tripping all their traitorous dicks to explain that, yes,…

Lenny’s cry of “DENTAL PLAN!” will be swiftly followed by Marge’s reasoned plea that “Lisa needs braces.”

It's Fox— as long as can say 'Benghazi,' 'Second Amendment,' and 'creeping Sharia,' he'll be fine.

Aw, shucks. That's a nice thing to say.

Dangit!

Don't do what Donny Don't does. Good advice about knife safety *and* talking about women. Also good advice about running a business, raising your children, making foreign policy decisions, helping the needy, and decorating your home. Actually not bad advice for anything, really.

Good Gawd almighty… my feelings! As God as my witness, I am broken in half!

My new doctor says I shouldn't worry about those shooting pains in my left arm. That's why I like the guy; he's not a career cardiologist. Guy owns a funeral home— he's looking out for me, not Big Heart.

I vaguely remembered hearing about this but I couldn't remember specifics. Long story short, it's called a candiru, and also I can't wait to see the ads Comcast is going to sell me based on my internet search for 'fish that swims up your dick.'

I was watching the Expanse! I made it through the first 5 episodes or so, then stopped a couple of weeks ago because I decided I wanted to read the books. I've got about 100 pages left of Leviathan Wakes and I'm digging it, except every time I read the name 'Dawes' I think 'that sweet Laurel Canyon insurgency' because…

Speak for yourself, bruh, I visited the HELL out of the Port Isobel Historical Museum! WOOOOO! SPRING BREAK!

Bill Irwin is motherfucking sixty-six years old. Apparently, mime keeps you young.

You bring up an interesting point. Would I support a Gator McCluskey TV series? Maybe, if the circumstances were right.

Alex Jones Realizes Slander Is a Thing, Tries to Avert Lawsuit

There's an article on this at Vox where they mention that having the character be a girl was important to them because of the disparity in autism diagnoses between boys and girls.

sans cannibalism