Pretty sure Bin Laden destroyed baseball by introducing “God Bless America” into the 7th inning stretch.

This is sad, but diet frosted lemonade? If you're going to be put to death...shouldn't you just be like, fuck it, I'll just have the calories?

This is what’s wrong with America right here. This. Not Bristol Palin herself, but what she represents — the fact that so many stunningly, proudly pig-ignorant, determinedly undereducated, information-resistant people think they know enough about anything to tell others how they should think and behave.

Hey, don’t lump all cat people together.

I hate inconsiderate bicyclists. I hate shitty car drivers. I hate people who drive to work alongside me in the morning. I hate everyone.

He seems to have parked his bike directly in front of a moving car on an active street in an effort to start some conflict.

I worked at this one place where one of the owners would get their staff to look after their kids when they went away on vacation. The owners were a couple but the kids were from a previous relationship. The people who had to look after their kids were always ones with cars who didn’t have much of a personal life, so…

I love the concept of Fashion Police, but they’ve been failing at the execution, even when Joan Rivers was there.

Jake Locker wants in on that list.

Oh how I wish I was stuck in that traffic, stopped in front of those asswipes as the proposal was going on... I would have blasted a “La Cucaracha” horn repeatedly. Moment ruined.

Other things are noisy, but I really don’t need an additional source of noise adding to it. Other things are dangerous, but adding the unrestricted flight of aircraft remotely flown by amateurs for their own amusement adds on. People can film me with a cell phone, but it is a lot more difficult to film me remotely…

It’s possible to have opinions on this topic beside the straw man polar opposite positions you have established, but hey, if you want to continue to view one of the most challenging and complex moments of history through such a childish paradigm, be my guest.

Sorry, they could just put a photo of Jensen Ackles on the screen for an hour and I’d still watch. Actually, that might be better than the last five seasons...

And goddammit, can we please stop rising for “God Bless America” in the seventh? It’s not the national anthem. I’m not getting off my ass twice in one game to fellate the flag again.

That’s the part I don’t understand. If “you” believe God defines what marriage really is, then for what possible reason would you care how the State defines it? “God” isn’t going to count the marriage anyway, so “you” still win in the end.

Are you kidding it? I’m LOVING it. Fox News comments right now are more fun pages full of captioned cats. Look at some of these gems!

Dads, having more kids will not increase your dadness. You have a fixed amount of dad, and you have to dad it equally among all your kids. Just dad a small daddable group of kids, and each kid will get more dad. That’s just sensible dadmath.

Considering who’s in charge, it should come as no surprise.