"It would be totally unacceptable for anyone to call one of your friends a slur in your living room...". In my (crappy) family, we call this "Christmas".

I once woke from a horrible dream, that someone was grinding broken glass into my face. It turns out I was rubbing a (by this point) dead yellow jacket into my face. I also found it less than enjoyable.

I believe it's called an "EGOT".

It will be unpleasant for a while, maybe a long while, and kitty will be RELENTLESS about wanting out. But it will fade. You have to be consistent, if you let her out occasionally because you can't stand the whining, you'll have lost the progress you've made. You're doing the right thing!

So I'm working in the kitchen all day today and have the 16 & Pregnant Where Are They Now? marathon on. These girls! About half of them have either had a pregnancy scare or another pregnancy because, "I wasn't using birth control". I no longer think this show has any potential for helping other teens, if the ones that…

The Today Show is basically now the viral-video-and-white-girl-in-danger show.

I like them. They're lightweight and plenty supportive. Yes, ugly as a Pontiac Aztek, and the idea that they'd do anything special was always silly — but I hope they don't stop selling them. They're pretty much the only shoe I've ever been able to put on and start walking in them the first day, without having to break…

I loved that the undersea uniforms were all net. All the better to show off that 1970's manly chest hair!

When I was taking The World's Stupidest German Shepherd to puppy classes, they told us to praise the...ah...output when our pups managed to go on command. "Do it! Do it! Good turd!" or whatever. This as opposed to praising the animal itself. Well do I remember some of the looks I got from people.

2) Well, in fairness, they may have been expecting a high-speed chase, which is kind of like a holiday in Los Angeles. Everyone quits what they're doing and watches it. Even the cops.

Apropos of nothing, except thinking about delicious, delicious cake, pie, mayo, and PB-stuffed celery...yesterday I went to Umami Burger — an expensive burger chain in, I think, Los Angeles only? Maybe more widely distributed, dunno. Anyway, I am Team Onion Rings all the way. (BTW, the best are at The Ringside steak…

If they're jumping ahead to Kahn, I guess that means Gary Mitchell never gets...whatever'd. That's an episode of the original series I'd love to see as the basis for a movie.

I moved from Seattle to San Diego, and have been inching up the coast (for work) for about a decade, have got as far as Ventura County. (Ventura, BTW, is a relatively unspoiled beach town piece of old school SoCal, though it's a murderous commute anywhere.) I'm not sure I can afford to retire here, and I own a home…

I went for the first time in almost that long, and had a ton of work done. In addition to cleaning and x-rays, a filling replacement, two crowns, and a root canal. I can tell you, things have changed quite a bit! Be sure to go to a young dentist, who is up on the latest techniques and has all the latest equipment. …

Iron Fist runs into Chuck Norris...and gets his ass kicked.

My alarm clock has the iPod plugged in on "shuffle" — that was the song that came up this morning. Hee!

I think they should adopt the Liz Lemon nomenclature, sadly top-front being her worst quadrant.

I like to do the Queen Elizabeth staredown. I find disdain to be the best response.

I want a no-campaign-ad channel on the teevee. I'm still suffering from Meg Whitman Overload, and that was years ago.

Like that baseball player Van Swirley.