This is the greatest thing to have EVER HAPPENED TO DEADSPIN! Since the penis.

My new Ramen kick is adding hot chili oil, sesame oil, spinach, onion, etc. YUM.

I can’t stop reading this.

Would you like your salad tost?

There were 60-year-olds playing stickball in the street? That sounds amazing and surreal.

Seriously, these are the best recurring articles I know of. I regularly lose my shit when reading them.

It's the ocean! Anything goes!!

This is better than all of the Yelp reviews in the main article. And those are pretty fucking funny...

Diapers? Wha... just... HYUNNGGHHH???? NO!

NO DRUGS AT MY POOL? WHAT KIND OF POOL IS THIS!!!!

I have this thermostat and it's confusing as hell. Took about three months of fiddling around with it for me to understand how to make it do what I want.

I have this thermostat and it's confusing as hell. Took about three months of fiddling around with it for me to…

It was Paula Deen.

Did you... Did you eat ice cream out of paper waffle cones?

That's like saying Starbucks is ACTUALLY Whatever Street Cafe because they bought the business ten years ago. It was only 20 stores! Does not qualify!

Anton Ludwig Feuchtwanger

Shit-your-pants stories are the best.

EXCEPT THE COKE... WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Italy we don't have Yelp. Italians spend most of their time eating, getting laid and talking to real friends (not the ones on Facebook). So we don't fully understand why people spend so much time writing on the internet to imaginary friends or imaginary followers.

Pam is a man?

This guy is hilarious! #branding #stooooopidbitch