Congratulations !

Your wrinkly, wrinkly head.

I had cancer at 29 and a recurrence at 31. Every gray hair is a reminder I didn’t die when I was 29. Every wrinkle is another day I got to spend with my family and on the planet because I didn’t die.

I keep myself face down in a tub full of ice 23 hours a day. The room is pitch black and there is no sound. The other hour, my skin is being lathered with a margarine based cream. I do not eat.

I hear soaking in formaldehyde is a great way to prevent aging. Take care to remain constantly immersed, and you too can look 3000 years young!

I know we’re not supposed to body-snark, but I’m not a fan of models who are so thin that their torsos start pixelating.

I’m dying.

Seriously I have likely said this before but if La’Porsha Renae doesn’t win, forget the election, I will have no faith in America.

THEIR CATS' BEDROOMS

Probably, just not as quickly as the sun is killing you.

Was so confused by this at first—I have never heard of putting talcum powder on your ladybits so I was trying to figure out how the hell this happened!

When Bernie was getting arrested in 1963, she was 16 years old. She didn’t vote for anybody in 1964. By early 1968 she was campaigning for Gene McCarthy. And very, very much pro-Civil Rights. All you’re doing is demonstrating that you’re an asshole.

Contrary to the one-size-fits-all sex approach that pervades the media, most women don’t climax after really fast, thrusty, clothes-on sex sans foreplay.

Am I the only one turned off by the Crisco thing? Sweat doesnt bug me, but body oils just seen so...greasy.

Waking up next to a guy you love and snuggling into his shoulder/armpit is intoxicating. It might be my favorite feeling ever.

It’s also a good litmus test for natural chemistry between two people; your pheromones reveal quite a bit about your genetics, and your body can pick up on that info through smell. If your…

Same, but it has to be the right guy. Some of them have funks that nauseate me.

It makes me feel like I’m humming golden inside or something.

Huh. My wife likes to smell my armpit before sex. I didn’t realize that was a thing. The internet. Making things that might seem weird, not so weird.

Actually, *some* white people went into defense mode. Given that 249 million Americans identify as white I think the general consensus to the video was no one gave a flying fuck. Don’t believe twitter or the media as representing any one single race of people.

The fact that it was barely satire tho.