Okaaaaaaay. Slow news day?

What Sean describes is something I struggle with a lot. I have issues in not dwelling in the past and living in the moment, and looking at coincidences as “magic life moments” and wanting there to be some sort of “happy ending” or “just desserts” in my life. When deep down, I know life doesn’t work like that.
Its…

When I was in middle school I saw an airing of The Music Man. In one early scene Prof Harold Hill scandalizes the right-thinking townsfolk of River City by informing them that their little angels were using course words like “Swell”. I thought that was hilarious so I started using “Swell” as my go-to adjective for…

Friends - reactionary sarcasm to everything that goes on around me, (could I be anymore annoying to people?).

And Microsoft... And IBM... And General Motors... And Sears-Roebuck... And Standard Oil...

Oh shit, you’re one too? What happens if you collect all five of us?

We used to say that about AOL, too, y’know.

Settle the lawsuit with George Miller, greenlight another Mad Max film, and let him do his Justice League to kick off a rebooted universe.

Maybe as a solution Batman ought to brand Zack Snyder’s face then throw him into prison and let nature take its course. Superhero movies as crypto-fascist wank fantasies doesn’t really do it for me.

How much dick would a dick pic pick if a dick pic could pick dicks?

Again? The desperate retooling of every movie post-the last one’s failure is part of what’s getting them in this mess. I say steer into the iceberg at this point.

Is this going to be the same as their last rethink, in which the ultimate conclusion was ‘change nothing other than adding more quips’?

Exactly! They clearly just need to double down on the murder and grimdark. Humor is for pussies!

I say they should keep doing the same thing and keeping hiring Zach Snyder. I mean, the law of averages says that sooner or later one of these will be a huge hit that will justify everything in hindsight.

“Fine” can mean “middling” which is about what C- signifies.

Vaginas actually aren’t very photogenic, and often don’t look great in pictures. If I were to regularly receive vag pics, it probably wouldn’t do much to enrich my life. Now, boobs on the other hand...

Bob Barker’s public service announcements are getting much more graphic. Alternative joke: should we add the sad Sarah McLachlan music over the homeless wang pics, or would you prefer doing so yourself?

As a straight man, I’ll contend that there’s nothing very sexy about an isolated picture of genitals, period. Women understand that, and men rarely do.

Your mom sends them to me all the time.

I don’t know if I’m reading the room wrong but it sounds like you want me to send you a dick pic. Continue breathing oxygen and I’ll take that as a ‘Yes’.