Janet Jackson has been weirdly excluded from the pop culture history of the 80s and 90s. She was a huge, influential star who made big creative swings. She paved the way for people like Beyonce. Yet she gets no respect.

My nephew saw the Super Bowl nipple slip when he was three years old. Now he’s 17 and my sister just caught him having premarital sex with his girlfriend. Don’t tell me the two things aren’t related.

“Don’t play that game. Just fucking invite her and announce it, right now, in public. You can save the surprises for when the rest of NSYNC drops out of a helicopter.”

And to make matters worse, you just fucking know that goddamned Jimmy Fallon will be wedged into this thing, mugging and giggling like a moron

While other people are taking a $10 million break in between watching young men risk cranial damage for corporate spectacle, I’ll be listening to “Rhythm Nation 1814,” “Control,” and “The Velvet Rope.”

I was just discussing this with someone - I said it would have been much better had they invited Janet to perform, instead of Justin. If bygones are bygones, then let the bygones start there, especially right now. The other person’s response was “But Janet isn’t as popular as Justin!” Hmmm.... but maybe, just maybe,…

I think what’s most appalling is how much of his career trajectory Timberlake owes to the Jacksons- breakout star of a five-person group, went solo, straightened his hair, and somehow became whiter while still trying to keep his african american cred.

No, invite The Lonely Island instead.

I suspect Timberlake realizes that, in retrospect, the whole ordeal made him look like a boob.

“Free when you call from work”

When did Mark Wahlberg turn into Stephen Baldwin?

It’s a miasma of incandescent plasma.

Ugh

I’d like to apologize for making a good movie. I never intended to do that. Also, I probably owe a half-apology for I Heart Huckabees.

Boogie Nights was an awesome movie. There’s no need for him to apologize.

They’re actual size, but they seem much bigger to me.

Depends on which one you’ve listened to.

Please, don’t let’s start down this road.

1987, high school freshman me (wrongly) feeling cool to be at the SDSU Student Union to watch a very small show of TMBG touring behind the debut album and feeling like I had discovered the coolest thing that no one else knew about.

Saw them live over the summer. They’re regular sized people.