“Um, yeah, that’s not a 1996 Corvette interior, friends.”

I don’t think we should laugh too much.  Before you know it, we will be shaving with something that looks pretty similar.  

Still fewer airfoils than an F1 car.

Yep, the Mighty FC is the best one and it’s not even close.

That’s like asking me to pick my favorite child.

Why not find an old one?

https://jalopnik.com/jeep-j12-concept-first-drive-5899380

The Mighty FC. If they could have made this, it would be the Jeep in my driveway instead of an YJ.
Big cab, big bed very little wasted space.  Imagine this with a camper.

Exactly. Why won’t this random dealer submit to me being an asshole?

This is it exactly. If you start your “negotiation” at 50% of MSRP, then no one is going to take you seriously.  

I don't have to be as diplomatic as Tom does, the dealers don't respond to your absurdly low offers because you are wasting their fucking time. 

If you’re ever in the Detroit area, you’re welcome to drive my five-speed. I think you’ll find the acceleration adequate.

I believe that the manual transmission was only available with the 4.0L six cylinder engine.

I’ll just take it in 2 door short bed form please.

Conveniently forgot the “luxurious” stipulation I see.  

Gross. Don’t get me wrong: this is a great answer. They drive fantastically and last forever. And I’m sure the interior won’t make me want to retch.

“If literally one thing goes wrong—if the team needs to call for help or a tow truck, if they get stopped, if they crash—literally anything goes wrong here and these guys would be pulling resources from an otherwise already overloaded system, not to mention potentially increasing the risk of contracting coronavirus by…

Did you have a stroke?  Do we need to send help?  Or, are those just fancy horse words?

You sound pretty salty.  Maybe you should take a vacation.  A cruise perhaps

IIRC the Ridgeline is protected from items below the beltline intruding into the cabin.  The glass is going to be as vulnerable as any other glass.