You know, I went and looked it up!

I met Joe Walsh in a Colonial cafe outside of Elgin Community College during my lunch break some years back. I thought I recognized him and asked, “are you Joe Walsh?”

Seriously. Full fucking sentences that are not comprised of words like “beautiful” or “tremendous” repeated 2-7 times to fill them.

What bothers me is that this woman is a professor...

Susan Gurney is clearly an ignorant self-hater. Women experience cognitive decline after 55, but magical men don’t? Makes sense, so let’s put a man who is 2 years older than the woman running) in office. And the thing about the way they speak? Whaaaat? She hears rationality, intelligence, and coherence when Trump…

This logic I understand. I often ask myself, if Jeffrey Dahmer hated boys so much, why did he eat them?

“To be kissed for 15 minutes is not a terrifying situation—you can press the button for a flight attendant...”

He has such high regards for the sanctity of marriage that he did it three times! That’s three times more regard than someone who is only married once! Did I get this right, Kellyanne?

Professionalism or not, being BFFs with Scalia is highly suspect.

“That was ten years ago” works when you’re in your mid-20s talking about something you did when you were in middle school.

Best part is that it was on TV.

I literally still can’t listen to the Dean scream because it still breaks my heart. TOO SOON.

Egor claims HE was the breadwinner between the two

This sounds like laziness. If you’re going to be in the shower why wouldn’t you also wash your legs? It takes like 20 seconds.

Go to your room

OMG! Any man that would tell you that should also let you squeeze his balls while you have an epidural-free birth!!

I’m OK with having completely missed this debacle.

demonstrating for the jury with his hand.

...

So this dude turned a sexual assault into an opportunity to compliment hhimself on the size of his dick? Wow.