this was a hit piece

this feels like bullying who do i call

this was last night:
i was batman with kilgrave’s mind control powers. a female rapper (i’m not going to name) was furiously masturbating in front of me and i kept telling her to stop and she didn’t. my mind control wasn’t working on her. i flew away (i know batman doesn’t fly but it’s a dream). jfc, i can’t get how…

Have you ploughed both a field and a butt? I have, and I’m going to have to strongly disagree. Butt plowing > field plowing.

Oh, so you got nothing. Thanks for playing!

There are commenters being so mean-spirited about something that nearly all of us have faced in our different ways.

Why isn't going to the gym considered body modification?

I have actually have only told one person this, but ok here we go. I so wish I was as no bullshit when I was 17 as I am now..In highschool I was very shy and quiet. I mean I still am, but I wouldn’t let this stuff happen to me now.

Your brother sounds very interesting. I would like to donate to his gofundme.

Really? The six most important words to me would be, “You are never touching PowerPoint again.”

No. Stop ignoring the subtext of that song.

You see Tommy Wiseau’s ass one too many times but otherwise no not that upsetting.

Of course they are! Don't you know anything about sex?!

Dammit, yes.

I think you should get a job at Carmax for the next bit.

Especially the jab about wearing a helmet. Like, wut? Protection from brain injuries is now dorky?

She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

Why? Because our lives are mundane drudgery and all of us want something, no matter how brief and stupid, that is magical and special to happen to us. No one gets an owl at age 11, no one follows a white rabbit down a hole. We sustain ourselves with fictions because reality is mostly an awful, cold place where you…

There are a lot more cops than there are journalists, and the cops are better paid and equipped, so even if we wanted the media doing parallel investigations of everything (and maybe we do want that!) it just wouldn’t be possible.

These kinds of pieces come up from time to time and they always miss the most important part: teach your kids to ask what someone wants to be called, then call them that. They prefer Mrs. Snoghorn you call them Mrs. Snoghorn. They prefer Fat Amy, you call them Fat Amy. True etiquette is not calling someone something…