I apologize for my father’s internet presence.

How to solve the gun problem:

Except for Sugar Ray.

120,000 on my Pontiac G6 GT, still going strong, check engine light is on, but thats no real big deal, its a “gas cap” warning light, I need to change the seal around the cap. 75K on my Camaro, thats running as strong as the day it was bought, still like brand new car.

You know what Alfa stands for don’t you?

No, that’s not doing anyone a favor.

You’ve never tried reasoning with a toddler, have you?

Pretty sure Apple wants us to pronounce it “Tour Ten”.

This is the first Buick I would sport since the Grand National. Bravo GM!

He’s like a less humble and less funny carrot top.

I know he’s a good snowboarder and all, but I cannot stand this dude.

Two years then quits. Seems like a Palin tradition at this point.

It’s only fitting that ‘Mayhem’ weighed in on the Parker/Cattrall feud.

I don’t have the energy to mock the Palins today.

He drove it between Live Free or Die and Famous Potatoes, where he found the truth.

So did he drive it like an idiot or a maniac?

Yep, in trailer parks, retirement communities, and the employe sections of Walmart parking lots in areas that don’t use a lot of road salt.

It’s almost as if treating access to medicine like any other consumer good has some negative outcomes.

My 7 year old niece has devised a chart where she puts stickers on squares that are numbered. The numbers correspond to a list of misogynistic hot phrases she hears at school, on TV, from my mother, etc. When her chart is full she hands it to the closest adult and demands $20 for Space Camp.

*gets megaphone and shouts* SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST SENT A FUCKING CARD AND LEFT WELL ALONE