You know who can’t enjoy theater jungle gyms? Harambe.

I thought most people in a K hole were in ecstasy.

Mike was like “Good gracious, pasta so tasteless”

Alternate ending: Travis, Brian, and Lee exit their photoshoot laughing. Each man takes out his phone, heads to the website of an organization that supports a cause he truly cares about (Planned Parenthood, The National Immigration Law Center, and The Trevor Project, respectively), and donates his check from the job.…

After voting Republican once.

I noticed that, too. Not exactly haute cuisine. Soup course was probably broccoli-cheddar from a can.

Oh, we’re not disputing the merit of the salad as a tasty-fat-stuff vehicle. I’d eat one right now if I paid, I guess, less than eight bucks for it. We’re disputing the merit of its being on a gazillion dollar menu!

Seriously, who has actually eaten a wedge salad since 1983? Dated, tacky, utter lack of nutrition. Just like Trump.

Tacky rich folk need a place too. They just want the catsup on burnt steak without looking at the poors.

hey... avatar twinsies!
(and yes, seriously, wtf about the salad. that’s like applebees for fuck’s sake.)

“I am a 59 year old...”

You know, when I am meeting with members of our global team, I always take five minutes to Google customs of the country in question. It takes five literal minutes and it helps me avoid looking like a stupid idiot. And I’m just a finance scrub. I’m not the president, and I put more effort into fostering…

Correction: I said “Show us the dick!” because I A.) am specific and B.) will not be censored.

If Between Two Ferns mated with a Real World: Chicago audition tape.

Later he gets the rebound. Passes it to the man. Shoots it. And boom goes the dynamite.

Something like this...

you know at this point, maybe we’re better off just handing things over to the Pentaverate

War, man. Waaa-aaa-aaa-aaar, MAN!