70? You flatter her. 

Chant for the Jan. 19th marches: 1-2-3-4! We don’t want your effing wall!

How do you impeach a president who has won perhaps the greatest election of all time, done nothing wrong (no Collusion with Russia, it was the Dems that Colluded), had the most successful first two years of any president, and is the most popular Republican in party history 93%?

When I was about ten my mother was boiling shrimp and I became a human hive. So many all over that they fused into each other. My eyes were like pinholes. Immediately off to the doctor! Pre-epipen times.

Part of what I look forward to in Barf Bag is seeing what unflattering photo of Agent Orange you come up with. 

Also: “the troops wonderful reaction to Melania and I”. Melania and me! Argh!

She didn’t do her eye makeup.

More likely on strike, don’t you think? She didn’t make any public appearances until she could negotiate a new deal to her liking. I wonder what kind of $weet bonu$ she’s getting for the extra hand-holding because now it seems to be happening every time they appear together. Ew.

I’m sure Melania negotiated a very lucrative new contract to agree to continue this loving POTUS and FLOTUS charade.

an overly charred baked potato

Thank you. Now THAT is a sincere display of affection.

I can’t believe he knows the word marginal.

Whoa. He actually wrote “poor me”. I mean we know he’s been thinking it, but still. Right. Poor old Donnie Two Scoops. Fuck him.

They’re not sharp enough to think of that.

I used to make these with my mom while we watched TV. We had those little rubber fingertip thingies to protect our thumbs when pushing in cloves. We covered the whole orange and also rolled it in a mix of orris root and other spices like cinnamon. So nice in a closet. I should make some again.

Good one. En français: une tête à claques.

I was at the doctor’s the other day. My blood pressure’s gone up.

I try to shop local, but often the items I need have been either discontinued, no longer in stock or the store has closed. This has happened numerous times with things previously bought at a hardware store (or RIP UWS Gracious Home). I’ve been able to find what I’m looking for on Amazon so I’ll buy from them when…

Dead eyes. Dead soul.