So is it better for you if Thiel’s boots are polished and clean when you’re licking them or do you prefer to REALLY taste that Silicon Valley dust...

I’ve been a Steelers fan since was a kid and I missed that game because I was at work. I still refuse to watch a replay of Shazier’s injury and skipped some games afterward as well. Every year I get closer and closer to just giving it up...

They know we know they lie...

.That just proves that putting Jane Birkin in your photos is a really good idea...

Some people just use Proton mail to set up smurf accounts in Overwatch...

Essentially once you get north of Claire it’s an entirely different state. It’s actually nice. Unfortunately, it’s populated by a lot of “Michigan Militia” dudes.

In her defense, she wasn’t referring to the Tinder and his phone and the red hair in the drain when she mentioned cheating. I was his constant use of wall exploits to get cheap kills. So I’m not saying he got what was coming to him but on the other hand...

Xander left Anya at the altar. He can never be forgiven...

+1 timeout 

Sounds a̶ ̶l̶o̶t̶ ̶ exactly like the Fab Five era Michigan teams...

Sounds a lot like the Fab Five era Michigan teams...

“I like Flo Rida. Moms need rap too.”
-Darius 

I would agree that Jay-Z is probably dad hip-hop, but Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.
...Ghostface will always be pure fire.

I’m just tacking on to your list because it seems solid, but as a transplanted midwesterner... some sort of biathlon combining getting the fireplace/woodstove started & Euchre?

Now come on, It’s obvious Bill Polian was just making the same mistake old white dudes have been making for years... confusing Too $hort and Skee-Lo.

Man, when I was a teenager I tried to get a job delivering the Lansing State Journal... Somehow twenty years later I feel embarrassed.

Obligatory... 

As someone who grew up near Saginaw, this made me laugh... and then get very depressed about the fact that I grew up near Saginaw.