putzsburnerattempt
Bigger Putz
putzsburnerattempt

Come on down to Chicago - the CTA ain’t great, but its better than this ^. Plus, our city doesn’t smell like piss and garbage all the time.

The top 2 salespeople at my company drive these. They both make a ton of money, both live in very nice neighborhoods, and both have shown me on separate occasions the very nice Lexuses (Lexi?) they have purchased for their wives. Again, both of these guys choose to drive a Saturn Ion to work every day.

This is something that I think my HOA gets right - they make sure the building looks nice and the parking lot gets plowed when it snows... everything else they’re pretty hands off about.

They should interview Nick Saban and ask if he thinks that you need to win the popular vote in order to have a shot at the Presidency...

Am I missing the fuel gauge on that digital dash? I thought the gauge on the bottom left was the fuel, but it looks like that’s the engine temp...

+2 state Ball-ution

Hey, why buy a brand new Switch when you can drive out to Michigan to buy this guy’s used Wii?

Same - we walk our pit outside in near zero degree weather, and as long as he has his coat and booties on he does just fine.

When its super cold outside, my steering wheel squeaks whenever I turn it. No resistance in turning the wheel or rattles or anything like that - it just makes a really annoying noise until the cabin warms up, then it goes away.

What the fuck did I just watch?

Actually, maybe the internet is just a mistake...

Starring Steve Harvey as LaVar Ball

The air pollution from “cold idling” would be less than or equal to “cold driving” or the same period of time, would it not?

Of course I had them cover the entire exterior of my 4 door Wrangler in bed liner - how else am I supposed to convey to the driving public that I exclusively have sex with women with my humongous dong?

or in Sessions’ case...

Hey, screw you Harriot... my potato salad is great

Guy: “I don’t know... that’s a long time to be paying off a truck - let me sleep on it...”

Yeah, that’s a solid choice - also, if I really want to get fucked up, I’m texting the Ryan brothers...

He was good, but Sarah Jessica Parker stole the show.

It’s like they took a park bench and put a couple throw pillows on top. More infuriating is that, while the the seats don’t recline, the bottom cushions kind of slide forward, so if you don’t want to be sitting at a right angle you’re stuck in this awkward slouch. It’s awful.