What if we just went ahead and punted the NFL into the Sun?

Texans quarterback Taylor Heinicke

I also read this as “corn dog” but I don’t have an excuse beyond that...

I assume there is a strong correlation between Trump voters living in Edison or Norwood Park and callers into 670 The Score.

I’m sick of Deadspin’s anti-Mr. Martini agenda

Or you could, ya know, just drive slowly and carefully in snow...

I really assumed this article was going to end with Wagner either saying something with his chest or being very disappointing as an SNL host.

“I know you’re mad and upset guys, and you should be mad because you’re a talented country... You should be pissed off, because you’re on the same level.” 

Honest question: what is Santa? Is he a deity? A superhero? An alien?

I really hope someone, somewhere in Ohio has an ANUSTART vanity plate.

Still a little out of my price range for a car, but yeah... I’d drive that.

A question:

I liked The House.

Roger Goodell just suspended you for 4 games for asking that.

Is there a civil case coming? Can she file a civil case?

Look on the bright side man - eventually the Sun will cause a mass-extinction event on this planet. You just got to stick it out, hang in there bud!

There is an absolute zero percent chance I would ever let any of my kids play football. Tom Savage is 27 years old - if he played in a youth league, that’s basically 15 years of him getting his “bell rung” and just getting back out on the field. I can’t watch a 27 year old destroy his own mind. If the NFL isn’t…

Wait, Doug McDermott is good now? CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER, UP IS DOWN, BLACK IS WHITE - WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!?!?

The internet: Nice form...IDIOT!

God dammit I hate that commercial