He was never going to be able to outrun the cops while they were driving those slick Priuses...Priui?

If South Carolina had a Bathroom Bill this never would have happened...

My routine during the week is wake up, go to work, poop, back to work, lunch, poop, back to work, go home, nap, poop, work out, dinner, poop, tv, bed. That’s 4 poops in a day, which I’m told is a lot. I’m a perfectly healthy man in his late 20s.

“I don’t know nothing about no video”

“I spent a lot of time in the school psychologist’s office. I didn’t apply myself. My mother thought I had learning disabilities... probably all those times I got my ‘bell rung’ in practice. Enough about me though, what were we talking about? Oh right. I spent a lot of time in the school psychologist’s office...”

I don’t understand - why didn’t event security sucker punch and choke this man?

Its too bad there wasn’t someone else in the car to film this happening so she could focus on driving while on a public road.

Fokker was initially interested in contributing to the war effort after getting his first taste of blood by hitting a young woman in the face during a casual pool volleyball game.

Shut it down.... we’re done here

So he really only works out for 3.5 hours a day if I’m reading that right.

I am under the impression that no one cares about Kansas or its Senatorial races.

I live around the corner from “Rauner Prep”... there’s always garbage on the sidewalk and the kids are annoying.

I’m not sure about Kansas not being one to watch - citizens of the state have taken to the streets to protest both the Senator and his family...

What am I even looking at here....?

and yet, when I tell the officer that pulled me over that that garbage bag full of weed in the back seat is only there because I can’t afford cocaine, I go to jail.

I find threatening to stab my brain with a Q-tip usually shuts him up.

Are you sure it isn’t a trap though...?

To further complicate the bill, it was recently discovered that Governor McCrory has lived with a ‘Mo for several years now - reports indicate that McCrory’s “wife” was both aware and supportive of the living arrangement.