Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by incompetence.

On the other hand, it’s nice to see men deal with some of the same BS policing that women do regarding their potential to create offspring.

Howdy officer. Beat any minorities today? Fuck the cops and anyone who cooperates with them. And the lily white peckerwoods who argue for snitching. You upvvote this shit you’re rat fink scum

I don’t mind Snickers, but I’d rank those candies like this:

I despise anyone who answers this question seriously. The ONLY acceptable answer is “none of them and fuck you for asking”

That is the antithesis of how I eat.

This! I’m not “epi-pen allergic” to fresh pineapple but within 5 minutes of ingesting it, I will start simultaneously shitting and vomiting. If you want that in your house/restaurant... ok.  It lasts about two hours.

Brach’s Wild N’ Fruity Gummi Bears & Worms are far superior to haribo.

Good God. I can only hope, based on your handle, that you are being irreverent with this unholy trifecta of dogshit. Is there any way to give...what’s the opposite of a star...a black hole? I give this comment 1 black hole.

Bit-O-Honey

I don’t think you can pick options that would taste better WITH chocolate. I like caramels! But they’re not the best they can be without also being covered in dark chocolate. Thus I rule them and paydays disqualified.

It can make me act silly (the MSG, not the booze. Well, not in the same way.), and also gives me and my dad these terrible repeating nightmares. Sometimes sweats and fast heart rate when trying to sleep.

I freaking wish. This sounds amazing. Too bad my precious precious MSG makes me bedridden with a vom-inducing migraine the next day.

This is truly abhorrent behavior by women. Why can’t they behave like men and go on dates solely with the hope of having sex with someone they don’t really care about? I am shocked and outraged by this highly scientific study that has poked yet another hole in my bullshit fantasies regarding the purity of human…

The “chili” in “chili con carne” is the “chilli” pepper, the Aztec spelling of it, which for some reason the English (of all people) respect the proper original spelling.

It depends on if you’re talking about “Detroit” or “Sicilian” style (pan pizza cut into squares” or that bullshit “party cut” where some lazy asshole didn’t want to spend 10 seconds portioning the pizza into wedges so they just did a grid across the damn thing.

“I can’t see a reason for a hot dog not to be a sandwich.”

It’s Golden Corral, not Le Bernardin. She was probably dressed better than 90% of the customers.

I think we can all agree that the best way to consume a pile of blisteringly hot cheese and various toppings on dough is with your bare fingers, without any crust, and in pieces the size of a postage stamp.