A few years ago I had a coworker tell me that her dad's old Cressida was going to get towed for sitting too long in the street. It would not start and she did not have the know how to get it going again, the battery would not jump. She said if I could drive it away that it was mine, if not she was going to donate…

I feel my balls on a regular basis, it is a skill I picked up in the Navy. You see I had a shipmate get testicular cancer at age 20 and it cost his both his balls and some small intestines. The guy suffered through a lot and pulled out in the end and that taught me that touching my balls on a regular interval is a…

Aw man, now I have a sad, Oderus Urungus you evil bastard. Now I have to listen to the entire Scrumdogs of the Universe album.

Oh shit now I am in trouble at work, I can't stop laughing and after putting this up on the big screen while running the Benny Hill music my whole department is now useless. If you will excuse me I need to roll on the floor some more.

"Had a customer come in a while back. Said her brakes were spongy. Here's what I found. Now I asked myself 'DID YOU NOT HEAR A GRINDING NOISE!!!' So we had her come to the back and showed her. The service writer and I said this was very dangerous, and that we've never seen anything like this before. She starts dancing…

The Kitty was in the best shape any of the forward deployed ships in Yoko could be. I was on the USS Cushing for her last 3 years and man the whole fleet was beat to hell compared to the girls in San Diego or Norfolk. But I guess when you constantly do 200+ days to sea a year it takes a toll.

But what you van fans are really looking for isn't some taxi. You're looking for a real van. And the Metris definitely comes in real van form, completely with panels where windows should be and a black car-bra on the front already:

My new favorite Kinja'd gif.

Cressida is a character from the Trojan War, an event that also gave us the iconic Trojan Horse. Like that ancient trope, today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Cressida contains a surprise. You'll have to decide if its price will make it worth letting through the gates.

"The F1 team may be prestigious and integral to the Ferrari brand, but in its current form—without any profit or cash flow generation—it's hard to argue it has any value," Max Warburton, a senior analyst at Bernstein Research, wrote in a report in December.

For drag racing - http://www.sceda.com/ or http://www.pscaracing.com/

Is badass a color, because that is all I see.

You have to join a club, they do that to keep the costs for the tracks down so they can afford to stay open. But that is for drag racing only. Speed Ventures run regular events every month at either Fontana, Willow Springs, or Button Willow if you want to get your track on. Also Orange County is has a auto cross…

Except there are tons of regular events in the area, no reason to street race.

Not how I felt meeting a large group of them. But honestly what group does not have its own sexual "undertones" these days? Experience it before you pass any major judgement.

Furries do not get dressed up to have sex, they get dressed up to be a character they have created for themselves. It is more of a social club than anything.

The word you are looking for is ozholes.

I have a cousin who is in the functioning part of the autism spectrum, she is employable but still limited. She works at a hotel for a living and is well liked by her management, they go out of their way to protect her. The girl is super artistic and a furry, her autism makes her less than endearing to her…

Oh god how I want this car, I am not a high enough earner though. Maybe one day with I get myself up higher by my bootstraps.

This is why it was a damn shame that Suzuki never got the Swift here in the United States. I only have to wait 15 more years before I can get one of my own. Can't wait.