I wonder if Memories Pizza (She may be Godly, but that is a God-awful name) sells a Parable Pizza for Christian weddings, in which 5 loaves and 2 fishes are capable of feeding 5,000 guests. Or 7 loaves and a few small fishes can feed 4,000 guests, depending on which Gospel you interpret as the Gospel truth.

Sally Field spoofed that commercial on SNL decades ago, but I can't find it online. Let's just say the soft focus filter was on high.

I once saw a squirrel eating a peach and it was the cutest thing ever. It was turning it around and around the way people eat corn on the cob.

I enjoyed this show (pilot is streaming on Comcast).

What? No reboot of Boy Meets Boy?

Hope in a Jar: The Making of America's Beauty Culture by Kathy Peiss is an excellent book on the subject.

Wait. Meredith Viera still has a show?

Where was Robert Durst when she went missing?

I am not a writer which would explain why I was not invited to contribute to this book. However, had I been invited to contribute my chapter would have been very short.

The list is as long as it is depressing. Bart Simpson? Karen Black?

Holy water and oxyclean?

I like the fact that it is called "EZ Squirt" as if regular tomato-colored ketchup is somehow hard to squirt.

I will stick with the "crotch gussets" of my Duluth Trading Co. pants.

Don't forget purple ketchup

Canada has a very real problem when it comes to murders and abductions of First Nations women.

When I was a lifeguard I found a maxi pad in the skimmer once.

Regarding Nick Lachey and Costco, the New York Times was on it 8 years ago

Nellie Andreeva might take issue with that illustration.

So he pulled a Ginger Spice?

Isn't is spelled "tout de suite"?