Ill pay you three times as much to shut the fuck up.

You've dug a mighty fine hole, Jez. Now stop digging.

Seriously.

And why didn't Jez just run this story to begin with instead of the Dunham/Untouched Photo Bounty nonsense?

No matter what you write, today I see you, Jezebel, in a new light. Like the lover who greatly disappointed you last night and who is now desperately trying to bring back a sense of normality to the relationship, except the steaming turd you laid last night over the Lena Dunham photo debacle is still clogging up and…

REALLY?

Jez,

Admit it, Jez. You were wrong.

Actually, her twitter response was much better: "Way cooler when people do things out of pure blind spite than out of faux altruism". Faux altruism describes this whole shitshow perfectly.

$300 for a porcelin dalmatian? Only on the Wheel of Fortune in the 80's. Having been on that show, i remember looking at the wheel and commenting on its small size. Well, I guess the wheel heard me and took a big wet bite out of my backside. That vindictive jerk showed me no love whatsoever and I walked out with the…

I was most curious to see the bed picture, which seemed to be the most altered.

sorry Burt, but this dress was better

One of the most absurd things in the world is when the law changed however long ago, making student loans not bankruptable. I can bankrupt medical debt, credit card debt, and even taxes— but not student loans? Come on.

And I say this as someone who is, in general, a big negative nancy about student loans. I think far…

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for debt forgiveness, I can tell you I don't have a drop down menu for that. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you set…

Really disappointed that Michael B. Jordan didn't get nominated for Fruitvale Station. That movie is still with me, and I saw it months ago.

You can clearly hear what Robin Sampled. At least he didn't steal the whole damn song. Play them at the same time.

No prediction for Best Costume Design in a Foreign Language Non-Adapted Silent Documentary? Fuck you guys.

LUPITA FOREVER, Y'ALL.

I don't think that makes you odd at all. :) I think there are lots of women out there who are turned on by men in women's clothes, far more than would publicly admit it. I've had lots of friends (girls) who were into more traditionally effeminate looks on men. We always joked that it worked out perfectly because then…

Women's bras and panties hidden under a man's clothes are my ultimate turn-on. It is the #1 thing I miss about my otherwise lousy ex-boyfriend. I love men who dress like women. Guess I'm an odd girl :/