I think I should be able to opt out of my insurance covering Viagra. I don't want to pay for that! Might as well opt out of the heart disease and diabetes provisions, too, because I won't have to worry about that for a while.

I don't understand why people don't get this.

We didn't get anything else. It all looked yummy, though.

I saw this food truck 30 minutes ago. And because of this comment, I bought the egg rolls. And they're amazing.

It looks like she's at an event promoting them, too!

This is a frequent occurrence, it seems. I just know this isn't the first time I've noticed.

Jessica, hem your freaking pants. You always wear pants that are too long and it's irritating!

Did anyone actually expect something different?

If my hypothetical husband cheats me because I don't feel like shaving my legs, that says a lot about him as a person. And it says a lot about you that you think it is acceptable.

I'm such a nice guy that I won't tell you about the bump on my Johnson because I don't want you to worry about it. And I deleted your number anyway.

If you were having guests over to your house, you wouldn't tell them they could only drink if they gave you $5. Wine and beer only is totally acceptable in both situations.

It's not a new thing. I learned about it in psychology in 2006. People tend to be attracted to people that look like them.

How long until we have a shot at getting this slime ball out of office again? I hate how he's even been reelected so many times to begin with.

"What would female-led marriage proposals look like in the hetero community? How would it translate into pop culture? "

This is possibly the worst thing with my impending period. Guys, I cried during Home Alone last night. What did you think this would do to me??

It will be a capital gain, but when they SELL the stock.

There aren't many of them, but they are the loudest.

Maybe I'm alone on this, but I don't really like them. She still looks nice, though I think she was better off without the bangs.

My boyfriend makes fun of me incessantly for hating mannequins. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?* SEE HOW CREEPY THEY ARE??

Apparently the lock is integrated into the... device. So you can't cut it.