This is so on point I kinda want to cry. But there is no room for my tears in a zero fucks tapestry.

1-1 is a bad result for Spurs here. West Brom is a boring dumpster fire of a team.

Thought I heard that too. If so, his brother saying “Thank you” is just salt in the old salty reporter’s wound.

Alienation and Severed!

We got a truther over here!

Ah, god damnit. You have both ruined and enhanced my day with this little nugget. Good day.

God damn, someone call the local firehouse cuz Magary is burnt to a crisp!

I prefer the Gentleman Bastard series these days. Lynch is far more likely to actually finish his books as well.

Cartilage namedrop! Well played.

Huh. I guess praying to God about dumb football games and yelling at young black kids does pay. Who knew?

My buddy and I have been following Pulisic all season. It’s been exciting to see him pop up on the bench at first, then occasionally come off the bench late in games, to now being a solid option for Dortmund to start or be first off the bench. He’s no Adu.

On that Curry dick much? Just kidding. Enjoyed the Pistol video.

Hard to get a scholarship when you like to solve small problems with gunfire.

Ha! Just saw this same handle on Rocket League the other night. Preach it.

Reboot Space Jam. Isaiah Thomas fills in for Mugsy. Take my money now!

I’ll be patiently waiting to dance on Real Madrid’s grave next week. For now, I smirk and blow raspberries in their general direction.

Wooo! Scorching hot take from the Jezzies before lunch time. Ya burnt Rudy.

Donald? Who the hell gave you a Kinja account?

Meanwhile, the Deadspin and Jezebel staffs swapped blogs and the results are already hilarious.

YASS KWEEN!