They really should have done the deal before last season. Instead, Snyder delivered a case of Smirnoff to McCloughan’s office and told him everything was fine with the franchise tag.

BioBidet FLOW is a much worse name than just BioBidet.

BioBidet FLOW is a much worse name than just BioBidet.

Weakest of all his Trump impressions yet. I love the CVN-21 jacket but most of this sketch fell flat.

Here “paraphrasing without reference” is too generous - he was quoting (or, cynically, plagiarizing).

Fuck education - all of it. These kids have zero incentive to do any of it when they’re projected to go that high.

Why can’t I hibernate? Like, for the next four years or so?

Diamond City Radio or GTFO.

I believe the sites were too concerned with losing high-volume pros to really make big changes

Good doggie. Please tell me he didn’t fall over the edge? Please? I saw what appeared to be an edge. 

Laura, you’re cool, but you’re not the fucking New York Times.

Suicide Doors.

Also, neither did many spectators, because they were not there.

I’ll be honest: I did not see this coming.

(Little-known?) fact: WD-40 stands for Water Displacement-40thFormula.

Correction: Landover Football Team.

This is just Very Bad Things with genders reversed, right?

This is...strange, even for the Landover Franchise. But, that looks like a nice doggie, not unlike one of mine. She’s a Dobie/Pitbull mix and a total sweetheart. Here she is about to go for a walk, Peaches:

Mahalo.

Alternate headline:

Is there a lower age limit for the US Presidency? If not: