White people. That’s all you need to know.

I disagree. I think the cut of her panties is really unflattering, and the bra line closest to her arms is not flat. Larger ladies can look beautiful in lingerie, but models look good when their clothing is right for their body type.

Instead of a comics reboot, can we get an MCU reboot where we all pretend AoU didn’t happen?

I read that as “horrifically big-footed cousin”.

Whereas my professor in my Virginia university went on a 10-minute long rampage about “fucking f*ggots”, complete with both homophobic and misogynistic statements, and managed to skirt any consequences whatsoever.

Marvel really fucked Hawkeye’s character over in the movies. They took what could have been an incredibly complex and compelling character and turned him into “boring middle-aged dad Hawkeye”. Boo!

Nah, the character’s deafness was first introduced sometime in the ‘80s.

Bless you, my loved ones, for the cocktail sauce-related options! I sense a run to Sam’s Club to buy the largest of sauces.

The year is 2016. C.A. Pinkham posts “Restaurant Customers with Request from Hell.” The first letter reports some wacko asking for a mug of cocktail sauce, screaming across the restaurant for the cocktail sauce, attempting to access the kitchen to “MAKE IT MY OWN GODDAMN SELF GIVE ME THE COCKTAIL SAUCE!”

Even the name Bloody Mary makes me gag. I don’t know why, but tomato juice/vegetable juice just grosses me out!

I freaking love cocktail sauce, but I’m a vegetarian so I never have an excuse to eat it because I have not sunk to the level of eating it plain.

I have issues with people touching me, and I fly all the time. I make sure to wear pants without metal, a bra without a wire, and nothing in my hair. Yeah, it stinks that there are losers out there who make the rest of us have to go through these security cautions, but really, if you are going through security,…

Pretty much the exact opposite. I cannot recall which, but one of the research foundations posted an article about how terrorists would be best off using the very old and the very young in their plots, since those groups receive minimal security scrutiny.

I am not agreeing with what happened to you, but I think you would not be allowed to do it yourself, because you could theoretically be able to hide something from the TSA agent by sleight of hand.

Dibs on marrying Michelle Obama’s arms. Just the arms, not the rest of her. Don’t judge me.

But there’s no picture! I can’t read through all the gay marriage feelings I am having!

Can we call dibs on our gay marriage spouse?

NO. Enough of this liberal bullshit. Lesbians are not gay people, too. They are magic unicorns and must be protected at all costs!

I WAS PROMISED ICE CREAM.

I have said that before, because I was genuinely excited to see and help my friend get all dolled up for her wedding! She was never very self-confident, but we worked together to find her the right dress and hair-stylist, and her self-esteem shot through the roof. There was nothing more beautiful than seeing her…