So, who wants lunch? My treat.

THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME.

he better not. i am not rushing home for that man to attempt sense and composure.

I fly regularly for work, and whenever I’ve been bumped (voluntarily), it’s into the next flight. I’m more than happy to take a 3 hour delay for a free flight at a later date.

I am so ashamed. I almost committed a Pinkham’s law with the Moe’s story. I found myself reading it and thinking to myself, “Well, midwestern Grandma always referred to ground beef as ‘hamburger meat’ so maybe it was a contraction, drop the hamburger and keep the meat...” Never fear, I got ahold of myself, that story…

Oh, baby, you come work a shift with me. Even your hardened, cynical mind will be shocked. Those one fourther assholes can all fucking die in a fire.

Fucking pepperoni lady’s gonna crush it. I’ve dealt with too many versions of her to doubt it.

People will try to defend pizza lady. Take it from a math teacher, too many adults don’t fucking get fractions. I’ve had multiple parents complain that I was teaching fractions wrong. These people would insist that 1/3 is smaller than 1/4. CAUSE 4 IS BIGGER!!!!

AND IT’S CHICKEN LEGS! CHICKEN LEGS AT 11:08! If you had “Chicken Legs” in the Pinkham Pool, please contact Pinkham for your winnings. That’s it for this week, folks, but we still have tickets for the 50/50 draw at $3 apiece, or 5 for $10. Remember, you can’t win if you don’t play!

I have rarely been so enraged by a BCO story as the “Now that wasn’t so hard...” ones. JESUS WEPT. These people should be in the stocks.

Will there ever be a time when this GIF is not appropriate?

I used to be a frequent Planned Parenthood-er (lady parts issues!) and I have never been pregnant. Thanks in part to, you know, PLANNED PARENTHOOD. And handfuls of the colorful condoms they give away for free! Not to mention LOW-COST BIRTH CONTROL. If the anti-choice crowd were in any way serious about reducing the…

Also, seriously, like 90%+ of the services that they provide are not abortion. I’ve been to PP a bunch of times, and never even been pregnant.

DING DING DING!!! Post immediately below this is for Swiss Cheese Girl!!!

CHECK YOUR CHEESE PRIVILEGE

7? hour flight from Seattle to Reykjavik, surrounded by a HS tour group. Teenagers everywhere. It was an overnight flight but did any of them shut up for even a moment? Oh no. The kid across from me spoke exclusively in doge meme speak FOR SEVEN FUCKING HOURS WOWE MUCH RAGE SO GO FUCK YOURSELF

This whole thing reminds me of mean girls when Regina tells Gretchen to stop ‘trying to make fetch happen’. It’s kind of how I feel about Benghazi.

There’s gotta be some sort of right-wing Mad Libs he’s reading from.