a big ol fuck up followed by some decent apologies / basic accountability feels like an honest to God palate cleanser at this point.

Hey hey hey HEY. Messing with somebody’s food/drink by adding bodily fluids is NOT COOL.

He thought it was about Hamilton Nolan? No...that’s not it.

wed off to a tangerine Demogorgon to settle the debt of her parents, who stole magic beans from Donald Trump’s enchanted vegetable garden when she was only one year old.

I’m sorry, but who among us would not fuck Harrison Ford, especially Han Solo-Harrison Ford? It is for this reason (as well as murder Hitler when he was just a shitty art student, and someone else I won’t mention in case the Feds are watching) I would build a fucking time machine. To fuck Han Solo/Raiders of the Lost…

It’s like every person you hate assembling to form an Asshole Voltron.

Fuck these bastards.

I’m choosing to believe my days blogging about Trump are numbered (I need to for my sanity), so I’m going for broke.

I thought this was common knowledge. All the house hunting/home renovation shows are “faked” in a similar way. Personally it doesn’t make a difference to me, I watch these shows for the entertainment value of judging other people’s taste (and learning about the real estate market in random foreign cities on HH…

This was discovered about House Hunters a couple of years back and...no one cared. People watch these shows because they’re nosy about other people’s houses, not because they care about the buying process.

Sign number eight bajillion and seventy-eleventh that I’m a blackhearted bitch: When I saw the green cups this morning, I was legitimately delighted when I realized how many people were going to be PIIIIISSED at the lack of red cups right now.

I also once owned an instrument of the devil...

Why do the witchmarks look like the drawings I did with my compass in primary school?

I keep this mark in front of my home to keep evil-doers away.

Trump is the most decisive. Decisions to change original decisions count as decisions too. Everything you try to call an “indecision” is actually two or more separate decisions. So many decisions you can’t even believe. Check the record.

Compared to other monstrous or cartoonish qualities he has it hardly registers, but Trump is incredibly indecisive. He is highly suggestible and clearly has no plans so it’s pretty easy to get him to change his mind. He has the resolve of a wet tissue.

What a shame. This pair would have given us so many quality memes.

Always the Tiffany, never the Ivanka, eh Chris?

The irony here is so delicious this post could almost be considered Foodspin.

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…