“But you’ve got officers who are scared now. Officers who are in fear of being charged with shit.”

What’s crazy about this clip is that I completely recognize that actress from 30 Rock.

I was shocked and horrified about the whole vagina probing thing until I figured out that it seems to be a class primarily focused on teaching folks how to properly probe vaginas. The vaginal probing would be outrageous in a gardening class or a basket-weaving class. Vaginal probing in a vaginal probing class, though?…

Just do them in the bathtub when you shower. Duh.

Nice article! I am a proud father of two and I have a foolproof system for this. It seems any time there is a death from this sort of thing it is because the parent, either by virtue of being an idiot as you say or just being super busy all the time, forgets that the child is there. So what I started doing was this:…

To be fair to Joe, popping the kid’s binky in your mouth is kind of the height of toddler-level comedy. That kid was probably giggling his ass off to see the old man with the pacifier.

It’s good for their immune systems. And you also get them the good mouth bacteria which is supposed to help their biome or something like that. I just do it because I am a lazy fucker. If my laziness helps my boys be healthy, win-win.

Elope. Get married by a justice of the peace. Buy rings online for less than $100/each.

"And, when you're in one, you can tell the world sure as hell looks differently at you."

iLamp

How many times a week do you see someone crying?

Works for weed, too. A friend of mine told me that. Yes. A friend.

Cool. It's like a color wheel for Vulcans!

Just remember that every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

Thank you, Mister Greenwald for the risks you routinely take to your personal safety to explain why privacy matters to an audience largely misunderstood as uninterested in security. Folks who do not seem interested in protecting their data security and their privacy need look no further than the recent leaks of…

It is very important to vet your sources and use a little common sense. For instance, it is not terribly likely that a lethal dose of vitamin C or gulping colloidal silver will cure Ebola. On the other hand, deleting the system32 folder on your computer really does seem to speed it up.

My personal policy on meetings is that I will not sit in a meeting for more than fifteen minutes. I'll just get up and walk out. If you have something to tell me that takes more than fifteen minutes, put it in an email.