I would have loved to have seen a salad with 1 quartered garbanzo bean, and 6 whole beets in it.

Ah, Forxcalibur. Alas, many a man has tried to free that fork from within the enchanted block of parmesan, but all that have gone North to this garden of olives have never been seen again.

Who doesn't like some nice warm fingers around their wiener?

I realize complaining about bad plots an inconsistent characterization in a Bond film is like complaining that it's in color and has guns, but they chose to ground this Bond in so thoroughly in reality that we acknowledge Bond's mental and physical fatigue and M has to face public hearings. You don't get to have plot…

What the hell kind of poop water is solid goddamn black like that? Not any poop water I've ever seen!

Perhaps you are a terrible liar because your cranium is packed with fat.

Finally, a word to runners: Let's do our part and not run with antlers on.

Why? Why?! Be more constructive with your feedback.

*Bumgarner points to beard*

Why would you spend money on this? You can make your own wizard's nose by taking a dildo and showing it pictures of ugly people.

"Sorry to make things awkward, but I'd also like to mention that the Spin Doctors reunion tour will hit the road right after this series is over. Tickets are still available. Thanks."

Brady: Wow, my life could have turned out completely different had the Jets changed their minds on draft day.

"Rickey never kneed nobody. Rickey a loner."

Also robbed last night - Adam Jones.

I've never reacted this way when it comes to the strike zone. This was by far the worst I've ever seen.

That Vatican wine figure is so weird to me, especially when you consider that their expense reports only account for water.

I for one am happy to see that Black Kristen Stewart can show emotion in ways that White Kristen Stewart can't.

• Jerry Nuefeld, self-described Ravens' superfan from Cockeysville, MD, shirtless and in front of his garage this morning as terrified children passed by on their way to school.

On disembarking, I would greatly appreciate Assholes Sit The Fuck Down Until Our Row Can Exit.

Man, fuck Rube Goldberg.