Personally, I'm suspicious the guy was trying to get at least half a free drink. This was at the Olive Garden, which is pretty much the Denny's of Italian food (I love both places, btw).

I've been on the other side of that. I was waiting tables once, and a guy ordered a Dewer's and water. So the bartender made it for him. When I checked on the table a short while later, the guy says, "this scotch tastes watered down. And you forgot to bring me my water." And no, he didn't say "give me a Dewer's…

How economists recognize each other.

Well done, sir. Well done.

I'm still trying to figure out how the guy put hot chicken fingers down his pants and didn't burn his wiener.

That's ridiculous. I can think of nothing more uplifting than a story about a schizophrenic economist.

what do you mean "was"?

I'm calling b.s. on all of it. Here are your options: leave a turd in a toilet, or remove turd from toilet. Who the eff is going with the first option unless under gunpoint?

Dammit, you idiot, learn how a toilet works. Pour the water directly in the bowl. It will flush. Christ.

Lol "Nerds talk like this".

They got that shit in most grocery stores now. Especially the Mexican ones.

Kyle-

One caveat of throwing chips out and not announcing is that sometimes they stick together. Really sucks when two $25 chips stick together. No es bueno. Except when it makes the guy fold when you're bluffing, or makes him call when you have him crushed.

Another tip- if you're heads-up or last to act and calling someone's river bet or all-in, you don't have to count out your chips to match theirs. Just flip a chip out there. It means that you call (or just say 'I call'). If you lose, you have to count them out, of course. Otherwise, you're just wasting time and…

HA! Perhaps he thought it was a cooking show? You know, like America's Meth Lab Test Kitchen.

I have a friend who actually said this, and believes it:

I have friends who watched the first season then stopped because "they knew where it was going." Seriously, go kill yourself. You're not human. Then they have the nerve to tell us how awesome "Fringe" is. Get that shit out of here.

Even worse than a guy who has no interest in sports is a guy who only follows "football," and pretends like all other sports are below him. I had to endure a dinner with a guy like that. In addition, he doesn't watch movies (didn't know who Ed Norton was), read books, or do anything recreationally but play soccer. …

Also, before smartphones, people were able to actually sit and do absolutely nothing for more than 30 seconds at a time. Mind-blowing concept, amiright?

Dude, it's COOL to pee your pants. Just call him Miles Davis.