When I was a kid, my family was into drag racing. My dad had a car, and we all went and spent the day. It was good, wholesome, 'muricana.

My wife began vomiting uncontrollably while driving 55 mph in the left lane of I-66. there was no where for her to go. There was no where for the vomit to go. To make it worse, it was oatmeal. Ever puked up oatmeal?

I can't believe folks can, with a straight face, admire the campiness of the original, and admonish the campiness of the remake.

We shouldn't read too much into it. This was his same reply when his McDonald's Monopoly piece revealed a coupon for free small fries with next purchase.

Try Firestone Wookey Jack. It is, as those in the business say, money.

That's outstanding. And "Very Funny!"

"He kneed me. He did that. But it doesn't bother me. It's all good. I just mentioned it for no specific reason whatsoever. Definitely not because I'm accusing anyone of anything. Where would you get that idea? Stop blowin' stuff out of proportion!"

If you're Ron Flattery, you're probably not playing 3rd base for the Orioles.

Has anyone asked the two girls how they store theirs?

Time for McGruff to take a Big Bite out of crime.

Loaded hot dog before a flight? I'll bet you were a joy to sit next to on the plane.

because their flour is UNBROMIATED.....whatever that means.

Just bite the bullet and start kegging, my man. Botting? Ain't nobody got time for that!

Can't she just order a different beer, then? Alternately, shouldn't you be ordering up your own pearl necklaces? It is the 12st century, after all. No need to hide behind your beard anymore.

You might be confused about what "literally" means.

I'm just confused why everyone's wearing their shoes (and the women are wearing heels, at that). Doesn't anyone take their shoes off in the house anymore? TOTALLY UNREALISTIC.

+1 very generous strike call

It's worth noting that the only reason folks ever started eating bacon for breakfast in the first place is because of the pork industry. They nearly single-handedly created the 'all American breakfast.'

How are postseason umpiring crews chosen, anyway? I noticed similarly awful ball/strike calls during the Tigers/O's series.

+1 sacrificial bunt.