I ask this with immense fondness: u mad

Of course it would be Portland!

Buddy, whatever else I might be, one thing I absolutely am not is “well-credentialed.”

If you have any experience with this phenomenon—if someone used OKCupid to persuade you to vote Trump, even—please let us know in the comments.

🐑🐝 ☝️

It's a Philly thing, you wouldn't understand.

Wow, tell us more

“Now let’s take a look at that from the body cam!”

PLACED A BOTTLE OPENER ON PENIS THINKING IT WOULD FEEL GOOD BEEN THERE FOR A WEEK AND NOW IT IS NECROTIC

“It’s just not your thing.”

Thing is, he’s not wearing any socks.....

Whiskey is 90% water. The remaining 10% is Ice Cold Beer

Thank you for your input, berzerkertits.

No, I call myself the Beer Idiot. Thank you for reading

are you telling me that the perfect hoodie is NOT the american giant one whose obnoxious ads are slowly taking over my entire life

Gray-brown fall is not the worst season. It’s vastly superior to both Gray winter and Brown spring, as both of those seasons involve discovering what’s been rotting under snowbanks since White winter. Bird spines, human poop, rat arms, etc.

Dude, wtf. You get the Sacko for life.

That’s why I only read, Family Circle and Marmaduke.

One night in 1998 I was at a strip club in Houston called Gigis Cabaret (Anna Nicole started there). I was having a drink when a waitress came up and, seeing the motorcycle helmet on the chair, asked if my bike was outside. I said yes and she said someone had "knocked it over". I ran out just in time to see the…