Nine times out of ten it’s an electric razor, but every once in a while...it’s a dildo. Of course it’s company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

Why do you guys even care about Barstool? This is some Burger King-McDonald’s playground fighting bullshit. Nobody else cares except for Deadspin staffers.

So he attacked two buses that day?

+1 chain link necklace

Conor’s gonna tell Dana it was all fake and that he wanted to hype people up because he wants to take on the winner of Holloway/Kabib. Dana will be happy to get him back in the ring and the police will give him a slap on the wrist. Conor and the UFC will make millions in the next fight because of this.

+1 “chaw”

If the Caps meet the Pens in Round 2, we already know what their chances are. lol

Steelers. Please. Thank you.

What happens if the goaltender decides to shove the opposing player far away from the ball to make the save? Do they give the goal automatically or does the opposing player have to take a penalty shot instead? If it’s the latter, it would’ve made sense for the goalie to go for the shove and take his chances on the…

Sidney Crosby is known to randomly show up at a local deck hockey complex in Pittsburgh and don the pads for a team, unbeknownst to their opponent. My buddy’s team played against him a couple of years ago and said he was phenomenal in goal and stopped every shot with ease.

What a great story. Happy for this guy. Once in a lifetime opportunity and he did great.

Truth. He also had that similar mid-air tap-in goal just a couple of weeks ago, too.

Send in the goons.

Rufio death scene, Hook.

In Albert’s defense, he was only trying to be hip and sag his pants super low like the kids do now. He didn’t know you were supposed to also be wearing underwear.

Wrong person.

You’re an idiot. At no point did I say or insinuate drivers hit cyclists on purpose, so you number 1 is void. Number 2, there’s no correlation between my thoughts and your example. Again, a distracted driver does not consciously kill someone. Rapists consciously rape. There’s no connection here whatsoever.

So how is that argument even related? I’ve never heard of someone tripping and falling penis first into a vagina because they were texting.

Aren’t*

Thank you. That’s more or less what I was trying to say. And Route 8 is nuts for them. I know they’re all headed to the river trail, but that stretch of road has got to be scary as hell.