I read this as “trade him for 15 centers,” and was immediately delighted by that roster. Lebron pounding the air out of the ball at the top of the key with a rotating cast of four centers always standing all pressed together immediately under the basket. 

Spatulas aren’t free.

It would also be nice if they took Darby and Winston and just launched them into the sun.

You forgot to include the obviously better alternative for a seventh(!) tiebreaker that makes this option so extremely stupid.

I think we can all get behind Constable Odo as president.

Fuck Dan Snyder

I am personally looking forward to next year, when they have to codify exactly what “taking a knee” means w/r/t this policy, which will be over 20 pages and completely inscrutable and will almost certainly include the requirement that the player’s protest “survive the ground”.  

How many cop cars is too many cop cars for a parking violation? Because they had like six cars worth of cops out there. Probably would have been easier to move the car (thus freeing those precious spaces up for the Walgreen’s patrons who needed them at that moment) if the whole parking lot wasn’t filled with cop cars.

You mentioned soccer twitter, so...I just had to:

It may not be ideal, but it isn’t a huge problem in the sport given how few teams actively employ the strategy on a year to year basis. Hell, when the Cavs were winning the lottery every year, they were actually trying to win! The year they won the Wiggins draft, they were desperate to make the playoffs. They got…

The hypocrisy in admonishing him for having the audacity to wear custom art on his shoes while they make him walk around with that racist caricature on his head is nothing short of astonishing. FUCK THE MLB.

They say Tinder is a hook up app but I only match with those saying no hook ups. What am I doing wromg?

That’s quite clearly Joel Embiid

Believe me, the possibility of Ernie Grunfeld trading away Otto Porter and Kelly Oubre and two firsts for another traditional center is very real.

I sleep well at night knowing I won’t have to explain to my grandkids someday that I was one of the good Germans.

We get all the way to the end of Infinity War, with Thanos wearing the gauntlet with every stone EXCEPT the Soul Stone... and the story just stalls out because that stone hasn’t turned up in any of the interconnected stories yet, so Thanos just goes home to wait until it pops up on his villain-quest-objectives radar.

I’m not sure John Calipari can afford to pay both freshmen and sophomores.

Eh, it’s not like either one of them is ever going to play pro ball or anything