If some brilliant cyber person hacks Dump’s media so it only shows the Sharknado movies from now on, I will buy them a unicorn.

Saw it described as the Happiest Plague on Earth.

And it’s not like Fischoder doesn’t have enough problems with the space next door, I see it’s available again. 

I’m pretty sure he knows by now that you don’t cross Louise like that without consequences.

I have not seen him demonstrate that he doesn’t know what “per capita basis” means. Le sigh. (Edit: I haven’t seen it yet, but 100% believe it.)

If Hollywood has taught me anything, the next action movie will feature a monster/alien/meteor/tornado/huge mechanical robot that specifically targets the bridge because of the noise.

I hope Donald Trump dies a slow, horrible, lingering, painful death where his body fails him piece by piece yet his mind remains fully intact so that he's completely aware of everything that's happening. 

Every day, I’m amazed at how the depth of my hatred for the Orange Shit Stain can increase. I truly did not believe myself capable of this much disdain. And I am an angry bitch.

I like Nancy Pelosi ripping up the speech; as others have noted, it’s a small gesture to keep the Democratic base reminded of how much of a shit 45* is.

He always reminds me of Christian Bale’s character in American Psycho.

So perhaps it’s the wake-and-bake, but I literally have no clue why he’s even using this? Why is he using Billy’s mind-blowing fabulousness to describe “me” when he’s talking about the kids of politicians (not that his pos father is really a politician)? Is it about the hat?

Tits are more offensive than guns.  Fuck this country.

There are plenty of band that are composed of porn stars. Unfortunately their songs don’t last more than 30 seconds.

It’s really no surprise that some teenage boys love Trump.

Projection is a helluva drug.

Note for Alex to edit, it’s the Heaviside Layer, not heavenside. It’s formally called the Kennelly-Heaviside Layer and is an actual atmospheric stratification known for its high concentration of charged particles... “anions,” and of course, “cations!”

Beware the forthcoming 100% tariff on Maple syrup.

The older I get, the more I realize adulthood is just middle school with taxes.

I know that things on the internet can get pretty heated and a lot of people say things they don’t really mean because they are protected by the cloak of anonymity, so I want you to understand how sincere I am when I say I hope you die in a fire.