This is not a good photo.

Abigail Breslin will never carry a watermelon this well! NEVER!

I’m against this. Vehemently against this!

You need to watch Sixteen Candles just for Jake.

I really wonder if they’ll keep the abortion storyline.

Unless you’re making the tv series Underground. They manage to use modern songs (the show takes place in the 1860s) that work perfectly, rather than being a distraction.

You should definitely try to watch The Godfather and The Breakfast Club. The other movies are good too but those two have so many homages in modern tv/film you should watch both movies at least once to recognize all the tributes.

This is Patrick Swayze’s replacement. I’m looking at a photo of him and I’ve already forgot what he looks like.

At least it’s on network television so it will be super easy to avoid.

Everything about this is wrong, and is spitting on the grave of our dancing Lord and Savior, Saint Swayze.

I believe 17 or 18. She was going to start at Mount Holy Oak in the fall (per Jerry Orbach’s line).

“Did it ever bug the hell out of anyone else that Baby and Johnny dance to a song that was clearly produced in the late ‘80s... in 1963?”

JESUS CHRIST.

why the hell do they have to ruin everything for us?

These pictures should be in barf bag.

I used to mock everyone who was all “Stop raping my childhood!” every time another remake comes out.

I get it now.

Also, when did Johnny become Danny Zuko?

How old was Baby supposed to be in the original? Because Abigail Breslin looks MUCH younger than Jennifer Grey circa Dirty Dancing. Like, it’s weirding me out.

In this version the dancer galpal who hooks up with douchebro is not allowed to get an abortion. They force her to have an actual baby and that baby does end up being put in a corner because no one is ready to be a parent.

I love how you can make an ad with the phrase “white is purity” while there’s a white supremacist in the White House and still feel innocent enough to make a non-apology to “anyone who may take offense.”