On the plus side, his new Def Leppard cover band is legit.

Idiot. +1

Holy fuck! It’s way worse than I thought. He lost most of his legs and torso too!

I’m trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I’m stumped

He’s a starter though, so he’s ‘off’ the next four games anyway. Yes, he won’t get paid those three games, but his absence won’t affect the lineup.

I say we incentivize throws at the head. He’s got a helmet to protect his brain. And he’s got that stick for defending from the onslaught of projectiles. You bean a batter in the head, you get a bonus point on the board. You can even add up to two extra pitchers if you want to throw a few balls at once. But then the…

Old white man criticizes young black man for doing same shit he used to do.

You write so well. Thanks.

It took a lot of balls for Houston to make this trade work. Unfortunately, it’ll take a lot of balls to make this roster work, too, and they’re only allowed to play with one at a time.

I like the implication of the refutation: “The ‘like’ also implies that I would enjoy being traded to the Twins, which is something no rational person would, so...”

Yeah because one thing we don’t do enough of around here is call out the NCAA.

He’s eligible for a bigger max after 10 years in the league. He’s currently at 8. There’s no way he was signing anything other than a 2+1 no matter what team he signed with. 

It is patently ridiculous that US Soccer, the non-profit organization thats primary purpose is to promote soccer in this country, does not pay the men’s and the women’s team equally. I don’t care which team earns more for US Soccer or less, the whole point is that the organization takes money from its money-making…

This was undoubtedly the best semi final round ever. Watching them just crush balls was awesome. Joc Pederson hit SIXTY total HR in two rounds and didn't advance. 

He and Joc are making this the best derby ever. 

The crowd really went cuckoo for Coco Gauff.

when an NFL team goes 7-9 and convinces themselves they are close to being contenders.

They need stronger dykes. I kid, I kid

The floodgates opened up after that.

SOCCER