For me, it was the aftermath of a suicide bombing that really sealed the deal. Where was god when a 20-year-old bomber entered an open air market, looked around for the busiest stall, walked over to it and detonated his explosive belt? Where was god for the seven civilians who died? In particular, how did god “got…

“God’s got this.”

“There’s nothing funny about threatening people’s lives,” he said.

Even if they could, N.K. wouldn’t nuke the U.S. mainland. Despite appearances, KJU is a rational actor.

Yeah, really. Thanks for bringing us all back to earth. There’s gotta be a new iPhone model coming out soon, right? Important.

I strongly oppose any prospect of selectively breeding smarter cephalopods.

Muslims don’t knock on my door and try to “rap” with me about Jesus

Normally you’d expect a video game event to be ceremonially opened by, say, a video game executive, but Europe’s big 2017 show—GamesCom, in Köln—will be kicked off on August 22 by none other than the Leader Of The Free World herself, German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

To all the “how bout just don’t be in credit card debt” comments:

I can’t fucking WAIT until the midterms.

I'm pretty sure that Remarque mentions that in All Quiet on the Western Front. It sets Detering off in the trenches at one point, and I think it's implied that's what drives him to desert and head home (along with the whole cherry tree thing). People who have analyzed this a lot seem to think it has something to do…