Revisit what thought? That he is gorgeous right now- beautiful body and eyes and dresses very well? Why would my opinion on this matter change if he is bloated in ten years? Anyway, he and Idris Elba are both around 40, so it’s not like they are young pretty boys, likely to be led astray by Hollywood temptations.

The dudes I hit were not dudes who were arguing with me. I’d never do that despite wanting to. They were guys on the street saying extremely vulgar things to me, and in both cases, I just snapped. I actually only hit one. The other, I threw my phone at his face. Both stupid responses and for different reasons.

And then you can put them through the plastic spaghetti maker thing.

That’s incredible. Thanks for that. I get really emotional too. The worst part about this is that when I get angry, I shout and stop making good points. This undermines the very important thing I’m trying to say. But really all I can feel is how desperately I want to punch the guy in the face. So self control is a…

I’ve thought that before about people, too. I really think that vengeance would make me feel better after a violation, even though I’ve been told it’s not a skillful response.

Have you ever used a pottery wheel? I have a friend who is a potter. It’s much more difficult than it looks. I started out was going to make a vase, but then it kept breaking down and ended up as a bowl, and then that broke too and eventually I finished with a tiny little sauce plate (like what you’d put soy sauce in…

At first, I read that as “if Oscar did something slutty” and I was thinking, on the contrary...

OMG are they a couple?

Oh yes, the what-were-you-wearing, what-time-was-it, why-were-you-alone-at-night crap- I got all of that in the situation in which I was describing being sexual harassed in the park near my house. I was really stunned actually at the response. I’ve not really been able to respect a damn thing about that person again.

Holy shit that is so dark and frightening. It’s like you can almost taste the hatred. What the fuck.

I’m sure this is correct as everyone keeps saying something like this, and also I have no real experience with this like others do. I should probably read about it. But the problem I’m having with the “it’s about control not sex” part is that when you are talking about individual rape (two people alone) or attack rape…

The images that gives me of a spinning my hands around a wet clay penis on a pottery wheel, hmmm....

I think this isn’t so far off. I’ve heard him talk with a lot of fondness about both Keith Richards and Hunter S Thompson, and it wasn’t just about professional respect or friendship. He seemed to be really romanticizing that sort of intoxicated reckless aged masculinity- you know, the blaze a trail and damn anything…

Yes that all makes sense. Also I suppose there is some validation to be gained from it- especially since abusive controlling people are delusional so having someone in a position of authority tell them to stay the fuck away might get through to them better. Like when a dude will not respect your wish to be left alone…

Right- this is the sort of thing I wondered about. I imagine someone has studied this and written all about it, one way or another. Again, maybe I’m just looking for a rational way to understand something so terrible. I’m really sorry that happened to you. It’s so shocking to hear how many women here casually bring up…

Wow, that’s dark and insightful. Also, that thing about choosing where to apply your empathy- my god, you are right. I do that ALL THE TIME and I’ve never thought of it that way. (I’m not a psychopath or a rapist or anything don’t worry!) It just seems like survival- you can’t go around feeling and caring for everyone…

Well thanks for doing that. It helps women everywhere, and probably when you do/say things like that, other people agree with you and just don’t have the guts to do/say it too. Sometimes when I read stories on here, it makes me feel I’ve been really lucky- I’ve never been around people who would make someone feel bad…

Oh I see. I didn’t realize that. People blame Obama for so many things that I just assumed they blamed him for this too. It’s become a funny thing one of my friends and I do, any time something annoying happens, we blame Obama. Like, yesterday we ordered steamed dumplings at the noodle house. They brought us fried…

Yikes, scary thought.

What in god’s name does him being a good person or not have to do with anything? I think beating his wife makes him a bad person, but again that’s irrelevant since we were not discussing moral character but rather celebrities who we find sexually attractive. And yes, I think that a man who is well-dressed and has a…